Monday, June 21, 2010

Gluttony Strikes Again, or Sometimes Two Burgers are Better than One

Sometimes it's all about quantity. I hate to admit it, but it's true. I guess I can be a bit of a glutton.
image from

There are times when I just want to eat the biggest hamburger I can find, and I almost don't care if it's great, just that it's LARGE.

This weekend, for instance. The family and I went to a little place near our house. We'd been there a few weeks ago, and I hadn't been able to get the onion rings out of my mind. Every time I'd drive by, my mouth watered.

Now, this place isn't even really a restaurant. It's a independent bottle mart/convenience store with a grill and some tables. So I was wary of the hamburgers, which in places like this tend to be tiny little frozen patties. When I spotted a double bacon burger on the menu, I decided to take a chance. It might not be a great burger, but there will be a lot of it.

Turns out, the burgers were not tiny at all. And they wern't frozen either.

They were hand made. Beefy. Juicy. Darn good, I'd say.

And kinda big.

Confronted with this unexpected plethora of meat, I had two choices. Eat until I was full and then put the burger down. Or devour the whole thing, knowing that I'd regret it.

Which do you think I did?

Yup. Devour. And I when breakfast rolled around the next morning, I was still too full to eat.

So I just had a donut.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Thumbs Up Burger, Thumbs Down Fries

I had a really good hamburger yesterday, at a bakery/restaurant that used to be a church. It was a Cajun burger, with three big strips of bacon and two slices of nicely melted Swiss. The bun was firm, toasted just enough to add crunch but not crumble, and the burger itself was juicy and flavorful with the perfect texture. It was thick and oddly formed, which I liked. Everything about it said homemade with care.

But then I ate the fries.
Not the actual fries

If I wasn't in a former church, I would have said:

"Jesus Christ people, what's with the fries??"

I can't say I have much experience being in churches, but I'm pretty sure they don't like you taking their lords name in vain while you're in one. So I kept my mouth shut.

In my head, I swore like a sailor. A sailor who knows if you can make a good burger, you can make good fries.

Admittedly, steak fries aren't my favorite. I prefer a thinner fry, but I believe in variety being the spice of yadda yadda yadda and all that. I can embrace a thick fry when it's done well.

These were not done well. I'm pretty sure they were mass produced, probably purchased in a 50 pound bag marked Garden Variety Steak Fry.

I just don't get why anybody would go out of their way to make such a good, such a really really good burger, and then disrespect it by putting it on a plate with subpar fries.

It's just not right. It's insulting to the burger.

As luck would have it, Mrs. FoodGuy got a side of 1,000 Island dressing with her lunch, and it was so good it made up for the fries (when said fries were dipped in it, that is). Homemade burger, homemade 1,000, frozen fries?

Didn't make much sense to me, but then again, I was just a Jew eating a bacon burger in a church...